The five scariest words in the English language… “Mommy, I want an Elf!” Okay, so not really. I have to say though, I was less than thrilled when my daughter who was six, asked for one. Riley, my youngest child, now ten lives for December 1st. My boys, sixteen and fourteen, were never interested in having an elf. They kind of missed the boat on it! I’m not sure they were so popular when they were little.
Riley was in Kindergarten, when one day in Target, she insisted on buying an elf and naming him Aveuo. Don’t ask, she says he’s from Peru. I don’t follow the Elfin rules that come with this creepy thing; I decided that if I had to do it, it was going to be on my terms.
Aveuo is usually up to lots of no good. This year so far, he’s toilet papered my stove, made snow angels with flour all over my counter and actually took Barbie on a date. They shared a chicken finger by candlelight. God help me because as if Aveuo wasn’t enough, this year he has pet. A reindeer named Juan. Well, the correct spelling, per Riley, is Qhuan. Qhuan kinda just hangs out so far and silently judges Aveuo’s mischief. It’s not always easy to come up with ideas for Aveuo, or as I call him, the bastard elf (not to Riley obviously).
This year, I decided to step it up a little. I went to Target and found tons of stuff to use as props. Especially in the dollar section. There were a bunch of crafts there so I thought Aveuo could actually be productive instead of only acting like an ass. I bought a tiny tree and tiny ornaments for him to decorate while Riley sleeps. They have Elf clothing too, so I decided to hook Aveuo up with a robe and slippers. Last year he showed up in a teeny ugly Christmas sweater, which I bought at Michael’s. Riley was thrilled.
As annoying as it might be coming up with stuff, I’ll be sad when she outgrows it. I mean, she knows we bought him at Target, but I love that she made up a whole life story for him and actually thinks he’s the one doing all of these things. And to be fair, I too secretly love Aveuo’s yearly reign of terror. But shhhh, don’t tell anyone.
We would love to hear stories about your family Elf! Please comment and share your elf escapades to help inspire more elf creativity!
Written by Lesley Rousso